Wobble Wobble and I Gobble

As I walk or rather wobble towards the final stages of my pregnancy and step into the mystical world of motherhood, I feel more nervous and tensed than ever. I successfully steered through the 38 weeks of pregnancy with no major issue than a rather nasty tooth ache I can say that I truly enjoyed my pregnancy. I am not sure of what my new born will look like or what he/she will be like, what will be its dislikes, what will be its personality, what kind of values should we as parents pass on. Its all seems such a mystery I am not sure if every mother to be goes through all the same questions as I am. Everyone around me tells me that you will learn and become better and how can I trust myself with such a tiny, innocent being in my hands. What if I hurt it in anyway the whole feeling of responsibility kind of suffuses me.

I spend hours away from my favorite financial market news reading and loading myself with all the information that I can abut new born care trying to make myself theoretically perfect (at which Indians are greatly skilled), trying to super clean the house and laundry all the baby clothes in an effort to make my little ones entry into the world germ free. Spending hours trying to deck up the nursery even though it might not know what color its looking at. Feeling of becoming a mother and whole act of responsibility has literally taken over me.

Beside that the fear of going through labor (I am sure they call that for a reason) unsure of what my experience will be like. There is no plan B, my little treasure who has be has been preparing and rehearsing all the while will steer the entire plan. I fear that my husband, the person whom I love the most might become my second priority, if I will ever be able to spend or enjoy each others company without any worry in the back of our minds. I fear the postpartum period, fear of not being able to lose the pounds and pounds of baby fat I have been packing of without any guilt. I fear if the carefree life we spend right now might run away from us forever.

We are filled with hope , jubilation, frustration, fear as we walk towards yet another phase of our journey together, from friends to significant others to husband and wife and now parents. Wish us luck!!!