Blissful Isolation

One of my friends recently wrote an email which said "I am not sure why I was so happy when I got to know I was pregnant". I didn't think that made sense when I read that, but now being a new mother and a temporary full time house wife that sentence really makes sense. Being a new mother is dauting task. When your body just craves for the rest it rightly deserves after undergoing a huge turmoil and going through an ordeal called birth. When especially in a case like mine when birthing process ends with a surgery after being in labor for 24 hours. When there lies a tiny being whom you have got into the world completely and solely dependent on you, who needs your nurturing and caring. When the mirror shows the ruins of something that you once called a body. When you are torn physically and mentally and all that you crave for is a good 10 hours sleep, you are faced with a task of feeding the child which is deemed as one of the most beautiful thing in the world frustrates to an extent of break down.


We went through various books and accumulated knowledge on raising babies yet all that mountain of information seemed minuscule before the reality of caring for a newborn. I have heard people talking about how they were suffused with emotions at the very sight of their newborn, unfortunately when we first laid our eyes on our little one, there it was nothing ; no happiness, no pride just nothing. Don't dismiss me as an evil mother with no feelings, probably I would have too but the whole feeling is so overwhelming and confusing. Sudden seclusion from the world , stuff that normal people is what gets you the most.