This and that of Life

Are we there yet!!

2011-01-28T23:31:00.005-05:00

Something that most of us have always said as kids when parents used to take us on so called trips. I guess it was so easy to say that at that time as you always had your parents to blame.. when the situations turns around all you are left with is frustration.

Changing jobs is not an easy thing to do especially when you are moving away from a comfort zone of four years and the luxury of 10 miles away from work. I am now driving to a no mans land fighting my way through a sea of cars everyday and day after. I guess this is what is called experience when you learn to handle people of different temperaments and emotions. Or may be it is some kind of consolation that we give our selves each time we feel like pulling the walls down. Either way I am confused right now may be the long and horrible drive is killing me or I miss the comfort of being with my old friends.

I want to be successful but I also love my family and it tears my heart apart when I leave the house without seeing my daughter or when I wake her up just so that I can wave bye to her. Hopefully one day she might appreciate the emotions I feel everyday. I am optimistic about my new job I know I will be given opportunities that I deserve and want. Human beings are innovative and very creative when a situation comes up and they need to act for the situation. I look forward to write that has been my experience in my next blog.

One scoop of Ice Cream

2010-08-31T14:40:00.006-05:00

In my effort to do away with my cliched "mother tales" I thought of penning down something different. Everyday in our lives we try to eat healthy, eat good food free of grease, free of sugar, free of sodium, free of anything that you think is harmful for you. I struggle hard to imbibe the same healthy eating habits in my daughter yet I eye the large diary milk chocolate that my mother got from india about 6 months ago sitting in the fridge or that Haagen Dazs mango ice cream sitting in the freezer.

People who know me now will find it hard to believe that I was a fat kid and any girl will know how hard it is growing up as one of the fat girls. One bad comment made me change my eating habits and everything I did. Soon within 2 months I lost 12 kgs. Everyday after that I have struggled to keep that effort alive. All through my teens and until the day I got pregnant I counted each calorie I ate and worked off every extra cookie I ate. I can proudly say I am fit.

But life is such a funny thing all that over caution and all that extreme cardio later I find it even more harder to cheat.

Most of us at least most of the girls I know live a life devoid of anything that is close to sugar ever since the day the turn a tiny teen. Why is that we find it so hard to just let go one day and not worry where those calories go. Why do we constantly worry about how much we weigh or how many calories do we burn per week?

A mother's tale...

2010-04-24T12:37:00.004-05:00

I needed to get back to my blog, its like a part of me is always thinking of what I can write and how can I pen my imganiation or the reality around me to writing. After in numerous failed attempts and unlimited blog posts still in draft with high sounding titles right from the vampires in twilight ( btw I am Twihard.. and in lost in the worls of Edward Cullen) to our little field trips to the beach. I sit here on my barstool with a laptop on the counter top to actually finish a blog and publish it. You may have to forgive me if you find poor quality of writing or lots of typos today, because time is my enemy need to pen down everything that happened in the past one year in I say about 30 mins before my kid wakes and my husband is done with the so called yard work ( now that is a totally different conversation LOL).

Time is quickly running past me; my daugther who was little baby same time last year is now running around , dancing and demanding us to play her fav song "Shawty's like a melody" in other words she is turning out to be a handful. I don't want to sound cliched by saying a single smile of hers makes my day, which is actually very true. But it is also true that you are kind of lost in this new world, everything normal around you evolves to a totally new concept. You are not cool anymore (may it's cos I am pushing 30) , or may be cos you need to paln your scedule around your kids nap times( which getting to do in certain cases is an or deal in itself) , or to need to stay in doors for new years and spend time with your family. Friday is no more the evil night.. its when you actually get few minutes to chat with your husband and wait in the hope that baby monitor remains noise free for the remainder of the night. You no longer are cool because a trip to down to your local Costco ends being talked as a fun trip and you need tp do that more often together.

My tone in the above lines might suggest sarcasam or frustion or just simple humor. But any mother my age will feel what I feel everyday, its absolute bliss to spend time with your kids and watch them laugh or play or just taking them out for a walk. Or be the first one that shows them how wonderful the world is or how dangerous things can be. Be the first one to hold thier hands and make them walk towards the success and happiness. Treat every joy and every pain of thiers as if its more than your very own. Love them and care for them give them the life you always wanted and make sure every wish of thiers is granted , make sure they succeed in everything the do. But that is the mother in me...there is more to any woman than being a mother, you need all that for ourself. Career, success, life, friends, fun list goes on..the challenge right now is to find the balance between the two..

Sponsor a child

2009-03-23T15:06:00.002-05:00

With a tiny baby at home and us catering to her all day, trying to assign meaning to the gibberish of hers, running to attend very little squeak of hers and trying to give her the path of least resistance it always occurs to me, there are so many children in the entire world deprived of this attention. Kids, babies that are deprived of leave alone the attention, but the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter. The thought of sponsoring a child has been sitting at the back of my head for a while but having a baby and watching the kind of attention and caring they need my heart feels for all such children around the world and concept of sponsoring a child is more than a mere tax break.

Blissful Isolation

2009-01-30T10:23:00.003-05:00

One of my friends recently wrote an email which said "I am not sure why I was so happy when I got to know I was pregnant". I didn't think that made sense when I read that, but now being a new mother and a temporary full time house wife that sentence really makes sense. Being a new mother is dauting task. When your body just craves for the rest it rightly deserves after undergoing a huge turmoil and going through an ordeal called birth. When especially in a case like mine when birthing process ends with a surgery after being in labor for 24 hours. When there lies a tiny being whom you have got into the world completely and solely dependent on you, who needs your nurturing and caring. When the mirror shows the ruins of something that you once called a body. When you are torn physically and mentally and all that you crave for is a good 10 hours sleep, you are faced with a task of feeding the child which is deemed as one of the most beautiful thing in the world frustrates to an extent of break down.

We went through various books and accumulated knowledge on raising babies yet all that mountain of information seemed minuscule before the reality of caring for a newborn. I have heard people talking about how they were suffused with emotions at the very sight of their newborn, unfortunately when we first laid our eyes on our little one, there it was nothing ; no happiness, no pride just nothing. Don't dismiss me as an evil mother with no feelings, probably I would have too but the whole feeling is so overwhelming and confusing. Sudden seclusion from the world , stuff that normal people is what gets you the most.

Wobble Wobble and I Gobble

2008-12-15T18:03:00.001-05:00

As I walk or rather wobble towards the final stages of my pregnancy and step into the mystical world of motherhood, I feel more nervous and tensed than ever. I successfully steered through the 38 weeks of pregnancy with no major issue than a rather nasty tooth ache I can say that I truly enjoyed my pregnancy. I am not sure of what my new born will look like or what he/she will be like, what will be its dislikes, what will be its personality, what kind of values should we as parents pass on. Its all seems such a mystery I am not sure if every mother to be goes through all the same questions as I am. Everyone around me tells me that you will learn and become better and how can I trust myself with such a tiny, innocent being in my hands. What if I hurt it in anyway the whole feeling of responsibility kind of suffuses me.

I spend hours away from my favorite financial market news reading and loading myself with all the information that I can abut new born care trying to make myself theoretically perfect (at which Indians are greatly skilled), trying to super clean the house and laundry all the baby clothes in an effort to make my little ones entry into the world germ free. Spending hours trying to deck up the nursery even though it might not know what color its looking at. Feeling of becoming a mother and whole act of responsibility has literally taken over me.

Beside that the fear of going through labor (I am sure they call that for a reason) unsure of what my experience will be like. There is no plan B, my little treasure who has be has been preparing and rehearsing all the while will steer the entire plan. I fear that my husband, the person whom I love the most might become my second priority, if I will ever be able to spend or enjoy each others company without any worry in the back of our minds. I fear the postpartum period, fear of not being able to lose the pounds and pounds of baby fat I have been packing of without any guilt. I fear if the carefree life we spend right now might run away from us forever.

We are filled with hope , jubilation, frustration, fear as we walk towards yet another phase of our journey together, from friends to significant others to husband and wife and now parents. Wish us luck!!!

Biologically 26 but physically ?

2008-08-01T14:41:00.000-05:00

Title of this blog might seem very strange and might even you perplex to an extent that you might think the writer is probably crazy. Actually I am not and I am probably more happier and saner than I was ever in my life. I am woman and today I feel I am complete. Yes, I am going to be a mother. The feeling that I am going through is the most elated, jubilant, and every adjective in the dictionary for complete bliss. But at the same time I am regular 26 year old who wants to enjoy life and celebrate the fact of being young. I want to tame the adventurer inside me who wants to jump off a plane and glide like bird, who wants to go hike the Yosemite mountains. I want to quench the craziness inside me by hanging out in a club or go have a drink with friends. I want to let out the fitness freak inside me, who used to run for 10 miles a week for that perfect body I always wanted. But, my life has suddenly changed, chicken curry grosses me out, fat has started to accumulate around as if it were a life saver. Clothes that fit me perfectly make me feel that they might puncture some vital organ inside me. My love of green tea has been replaced by V8 juice. Google search is my new best friend as I am hardly able to concentrate on stuff normal people do.

Thoughts always run faster than actions true at least for me, with all these thought suffusing me to an extent that they might smother me, I talked Hari into going downtown in one of the clubs we enjoy the most. Once inside the club, I saw someone lite a cigarette near me, I immediately told my husband lets go downstairs where there is more room and probably some air might circulate. My fate was in ill luck, whole bunch around me were puffing smoke around me. I remembered the google searches that educated as to how bad passive smoking was to the baby growing inside me. My heart sank, I wanted to dance and have fun.. but couldn't get the idea out of my head that probably my little kid is unable to breathe may be it is choking inside me telling me.. "Mommy please help me here". I decided to walk out of the club and said to myself I won't be able to come here at least for the next one year. But its ok, this is my child and I can do anything for it. Ultimately my motherhood won over youth and while we were on way back my husband clasped my hand hard and told me "this is not the end". I know its not the end but the begining of loving someone who is a part of me with every single beat of my heart.

Follow up to the previous blog- Married Bachelorette

2008-04-07T14:10:00.002-05:00

Blame your hubby for all that extra housework

For married women who can't figure out why they always have so much housework researchers may have the answer — husbands. A new study from the University of Michigan shows that having a husband creates extra seven hours of extra housework a week for women.
But a wife saves her husband from an hour of chores around the house each week. "It's a well-known pattern. There's still a significant reallocation of labour that occurs at marriage — men tend to work more outside the home, while women take on more of the household labor," said Frank Stafford, of the university's Institute for Social Research (ISR), who directed the study.
"And the situation gets worse for women when they have children," he added in a statement.
Stafford's findings are based on 2005 time-diary data from a study on income dynamics that has been conducted since 1968 at ISR.
The researchers studied diaries to assess how people spent their time and questioned men and women about how much time they spend cooking, cleaning and doing basic work around the house.

They found that young single women did the least amount of housework, at about 12 hours a week. Married women in their 60 and 70s did nearly twice that amount, while women with more than three children spent 28 hours a week cleaning, cooking and washing.
But it's not as bad as it used to be. In 1976 women did an average of 26 hours of housework a week, while men did about six, according to the study.

Excerpt from ibnlive.com- Lifestyle section

Here is the original link http://www.ibnlive.com/business/index.html

Well ofcourse dear.. I have after shave lotion.

2008-03-13T22:13:00.007-05:00

I have always failed to understand the affinity of men towards after shave lotions. May be because ever since they are introduced to the world of "Men" an after shave lotion becomes their best friend. Or may be because they watched their fathers use a lotion day after day and waited for the time when they can start using it. What ever the reason I don't get it when they can't limit the usage to what its very name suggests. The concept of replacing an "after shave lotion" to an antiseptic is something that still baffles me to an extent that it sometimes drives me insane.

When I was in primary school every time I came back home with a bruise or a wound, my father would pull out the gleaming white bottle of "Old Spice" after shave lotion and rub it all over me. I hated that smell and hated the concept using it for my bruises. And to top it all the burning sensation the damn thing causes is indeed very painful.
My heart used to pound out of fear when I used to watch my father take out his old spice from the highest level of the closet.My father being the tallest person in the house , in fact the tallest I had known before I met Hari made sure that his stuff was at the top most level of the closet, never knew the concept behind it, but guess he made sure we keep ours hands off his stuff. Well, years after years after shave lotion in my house was replaced to the use of an antiseptic cream. Well what can I say.

Fifteen years later I am now married. Recently I cut my finger in the kitchen and Lo behold what do I see again.. yes of course "After shave Lotion". Damn... man what was the affiliation between it and I. Why do my wounds and it go hand in hand .. is it me or is it the men who are part of my life. Only this time it looked a bit different it is now in a clear bottle and is now colored green. The brand changed from "Old Spice" to "Kenneth Cole", yet fulfilled its duty of an antiseptic cream. My anger knew no limits , no way is that thing getting on my cut. But situation was again the same, I was wounded and couldn't fight back. Hari succeeded in applying it on my wound. He looked so happy and contented , even told me a story of how once his razor cut had gone so bad just cos he didn't the lotion. Dood .. back off that was a razor cut , not all cuts are razor cuts. Anyway I can go on and on this..I don't know if all men are like this or just the men I know are.

Walk by faith, not by sight

2008-03-05T15:45:00.001-05:00

Walk by faith, not by sight

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage? His
Father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is

Required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold
Until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for
Help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come

Into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all
Kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some
Human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his
Stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the
Only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his
Blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump
Next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from
Harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching
Over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to
Do is reach out to Him. If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you
Took off your blindfold before dawn.

Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not
There. "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

Are you a pariah??

2008-02-08T11:21:00.007-05:00

I never outwardly portray my religious sentiments may be because I have led myself to fall into troubles like making the entire school "HATE" me. Yeah that is right.Read on to know how.

I went to a missionary school and I strongly believe that reason why I have certain principles in my life is mostly because of the environment I grew in and my school played the biggest part in it. Well, when I was grade X we had a priest come over to our school and tried to explain to us the greatness of the religion he dedicated his life to. So far so good, I didn't see it coming but he started talking about how believing in his Prophet is the only way to salvation and subsequently visualize The Almighty. Well, while discussion went on for quite sometime. Anyone who knows me right now well, knows me for my sometimes arrogant self( give me some credit for accepting it), and slightly over confident nature 11 years after that incident. We are talking about a time when the word "slightly" in my slightly over confident nature can be replaced "extremely". So there I was standing in front of some 100 odd students and 15 teachers , school Principal trying to argue out the guy on why he thinks so. I didn't realise then what a bold step it was that cost me quite a lot.
I even went forward to tell him what I believed in and how I thought that will help me reach the Almighty much to the dismay of many people watching me. Well, what can I say I am what I am.

9 years later, there was this guy I used to work with, staunch believer. I never involved myself into discussions after that not so nice incident I heard this guy talking to few other people and was kinda giving a sense of daring me in. Well, as expected I got into a "religious" argument. Not defaming one mind you: just a defending one. While I talking vehemently, I felt a pat on my back, it was my boss. His facial expression suggested me to zip it up. So I did.

Not very long after that, when I was buried in my own world of programing defects running from cubicle to cubicle just to fight off the list of tickets(this is how people notify you and keep track of any defects in the application) opened on my name. I had to stop by a certain desk, when I let person work on the what I wanted to be checked, my eyes wandered onto a little poster that was pinned on the cubicle.Which goes something like below

It showed two devils in hell watching a funny looking guy smiling and whistling in the midst of the fire and brimstone. One devil says, "You know, we’re just not reaching that guy."

I am quite dumb at analysing few things may be because I think too fast or think about many things at one time. What ever the reason ; as always I failed to get the meaning. So, the person asks; ain't it funny
Me: Well.. didn't quite understand what it means.
Person: It means some people who are not influenced by anything etc..
As I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the cartoon, there it was thrown at me which hit me harder than a blot stone. "Actually its trying make fun of pariahs". Person :"Are you a pariah";
Me: "ya right hell no"
Person: "Are you a Jew"
Me : No
Person: "Are you a Muslim"
Me: No
Person: "are you a Christian"
Me: No. I was getting really irritated by the stream of questions being thrown a me. I could sense me bursting out anytime.
Person: "Well, then you are pariah"

Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaat .. what the hell did you say. My face clearly showed that anger that was bursting inside me. Wanted to hurl some books at him and tell "Dude our faith existed even before yours was even forming".
Me: "Well I don't think I am. And I don't think I need to get into that discussion with you"

I had material and mettle to talk back and show him his ignorance. But for some reason partly because of my past experiences or maybe because I was completely disturbed by his words, I chose to just walk away. Few days after that I walked by the persons desk and didn't see that cartoon pinned on the cube anymore. I don't know what made the person remove it; was it my anguish or was it because the person did some research or was it because the person didn't want to get into conflicts with a co worker. I don't know.

Was it vanity or was it a Giant Attack

2008-02-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

What a game was it last night, though I am not great authority of this game I decided to blog about the one of the best upsets of super bowl history and engineered by none other than Eli Manning. Who in spite of all the criticism he's always been subjected to emerged a winner. Pats as they walked in probably foresaw an easy victory being 17 point favorite there were no questions about that. But last night even the shrewd mind of Pats coach’s couldn't bail them out. Brady was running hither thither trying to avoid the influx of the giants defense team. Tom Brady who can be considered one of the best ever was having one of his worst nightmares, walking into a game which he and even I though will be an easy win. Being his unusual self he was throwing the football into places where it doesn’t belong to, retorting his team mates. He was devastated in midst of something that he couldn't accept. Was it vanity or was it being faced by some great defense that led to his season high of 5 sacks. The NY giants put up great play no one can take it away from them. It was absolutely stunning performance.

Especially when Eli Manning wriggled like a worm and fought his way out of what could have been a possible sack and made a great throw that led to the first down. What a game was it. Anyway I leave up to you to decide the title of this blog.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall Who is Fairest of us All..

2008-01-14T09:04:00.000-05:00

How many of us can actually deny the fact that we haven't given a second glance to a good looking person. I mean honestly who doesn't really wants to look glamorous and sexy. When I went to India recently, I see this ridiculous ad where the girl goes to check out her future husband (in India its usually the other way round), thanks to the fairness cream, she gets to make a choice now. I didn't know how to react this kind of promotion of a fairness cream. This doesn't stop here , another brand shows this guy who gets shunned by a girl because of his looks and then turns to the brand's cream only to emerge "fair and handsome" and finally to turn her down. I turn around to see my 8yr old niece all dressed up and shouting back me "I look fairer than you". Very recently one of my friends had a baby boy..and when she sends the pictures, I see emails back to her saying how fair the baby was and in turn how good he looked. Man!!! why are looks when coupled with lighter skin tone labeled good looking.

Personally, I do think I did pretty good academically and socially in my high school and college, but the huge irony is today people recall me connected to the prettiest Ahem!! the girl with the lightest skin color in class, it is indeed a matter of great discomfort when someone messages you and says "Oh you were in HER batch". I can understand why looks stand out as a very important factor in peoples lives. I have seen people be in positions where they couldn't have otherwise just because of their looks after all its just human psychology. Personally I am guilty of this too, my mother keeps yelling at me from time to time.. "Move out of Florida for heavens sake, you look like you are from AFRICA". On my recent trip to India, my neighbor walks up to me and is like "Enti ela padaipoyyavu" (Literal translation English it means.. "How come you are so messed up". Before my brain let thoughts that were churning in my head turned to words my mother stumbled out to say.. "Oh they went to a desert for vacation, can you imagine how hot it gets back there" Phew!!! thanks mom.

Its funny when it stops here. The arranged marriage system in India which according to me is some where in between a bane and a boon. I have seen friends depressed about that whole thing. Also how they would lose good proposals because of their dark skin. Its so hard for me to digest that something as simple and as natural as your skin color can weigh so much that you spend your entire adult life trying to carry it.

Married Bachelorette

2007-12-03T23:02:00.000-05:00

How does it feel when you suddenly find yourself drowsed with immense amount of spare time ready to squander. Feels like I went back about two years in time. I am sorry baby I do miss you but I am enjoying the company of this secret slacker inside me. My daily chores haven't changed, my office work still remains the same, still I could afford the luxury of settling down on the video chair and enjoying a movie for a straight 3 hours and to quote "watching TV" .. something that I never look forward to. My flower beds are in the best shape, my work outs have lengthened, well, simply I feel great...

I wake up my usual time still find myself at work 30 mins prior to the usual time... from where is all the free time pouring in, honestly I am baffled. Does marriage really steals time away from you, does being in commitment that time expensive? I call my friends more often than in the past few months, chat with friends all through day, its great I feel it. In other words feels awesome to be single again.

Glorification of a Sport

2007-11-08T14:06:00.000-05:00

I have always wondered why has cricket become religion in India. I was a cricket fanatic just like millions of other indians like me. But what extent do we take a sport to. Recent incidents of how the Hockey players were shunned by the media is so shameful to an extent that it become ridicule. The players had to go on a hunger just to get the recognition that they very much deserved.

http://sports.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2404611.cms

India Calling

2007-11-06T15:21:00.000-05:00

With my "short story" half way down and my recent India trip beginning to become a much treasured memory, I miss my homeland more than ever.

During my past visits to India, Hyderabad airport seemed to me more beaten up one of the most ghetto areas we see in the US. Somehow, this time that feeling never surfaced, may be because it was 3 o'clock in the morning or may be because ours was the only flight coming into the airport that time. My home city Hyderabad was actually built to handle about 6-7 flights a day but now takes in more than 40 flights a day, Thanks to the increasing numbers of Hyderabadis migrating overseas. This much similar to the city which now is firing its way to be the software capital of the country, and providing shelter to many a software engineer in the nation. I knew this visit had to be something different but an idealogy metamorphism was unknown to me. Once in the line to the customs officer, I chatted with few ladies from Detroit, who were visiting a friend in the city. After few minutes of chat, I was faced with a question which never seemed to be that difficult before, she asked
"What do you miss the most in India other than your parents". I was dumbstruck for a while: what was wrong with me , I didn't have answer when someone asks me what I missed in my homeland. Sensing my discomfort she helped me with an answer that came in the form of a question.. "Has it been really long?". I nodded my head, five years in a land far far away did seem long enough at that moment.

Once near the baggage claim area, I saw people musing over the way no one was unsure which belt the bags from our flight were coming, "welcome home" I heard someone say. Somehow I was at much ease than ever before, neither was I ashamed at the lack of facilities nor was I amused when I saw an attendant stand on a pedestal and announce that our bags were coming on belt 2. I felt bad for the people around me who suddenly felt that there were in a never land.

Collected my bags and barged out to meet my parents and niece, my little niece was awake all night just to receive me in the airport, my mother; person whom I look up to , someone who was and is my idol all way through, and my dad; who sacrificed a lot in his personal life just to give us a better life. I hugged my mom who burst into tears, kept saying "I missed you". I wanted to tell her how much I missed her all of a sudden I felt short of words. Once home I sat with her till 8am in the morning talking gibberish, silly and unimportant things, I hoped she realised how much I missed her.

My stay in my home was like dream that I always wanted to realise. My niece and I had a wonderful time, I took her around to the most of the places that I used to take her when I was living in India. My eight year old niece has always been the apple of my eye. I missed her the most when I came to this country, I remember crying when she refused to talk to me as she was upset about me leaving India at that time. I spent a great deal of time with my parents unusual to my previous visits, as I always remained engrossed with my friends and trying to catch up others. I realized that my parents were no longer the same, they looked lonely and age was indeed catching up with them. My mother made futile attempts at providing me the best food ever, she sensed that I was trying to make myself a good cook, I kept telling her just me your signature fried chicken, that will make my day. Thanks to Lord she made me the best Fish curry on the last day of my vacation, I miss her so much. We went out shopping, movies, baked cakes, made Thai noodles it was such a wonderful feeling. My eldest sister and I arranged a small party for their 35th wedding anniversary, I was happy to see my dad and mom really happy. I always wanted them to feel proud of me, they thought that I will be their most successful daughter, I don't know how far have I come in that tangent.

My sister took us out for lunch to a place that excelled in our native place(Rayalaseema a region in Andhra Pradesh, where my parents belonged) food. The fiery taste of the food there had me in tears. The food there was simple but the being in the company of my family was a moment to treasure.

At my port of entry "Detroit" the immigration officer welcomes the US citizens with a broad smile and welcoming them to the New World. Come my turn he scrutinizes my face, checks the documents umpteen times, after countless futile attempts to invalidate my arrival into country he finally lets me in. I ask myself why am I here, when I am so unwanted.

Now, that I am back to life the routine stereotypical lifestyle that most of us in the US of the A lead. Work, work out, eat, party, save money and sleep, and so life goes on in a methodical and orderly way. We have few friends that we hang out with, talk to or laugh with, still by the end of the day we are back to the lonely lives. Life back home may be haphazard or disoriented, where people bump into each other , motorbike rams directly into your car and you hear your automobile screech, you shout at each other and move on. I know that going back will bring in its wake many problems, I know that my parents and friends will not stay with me forever, I know that there is no value for life, I know that the work culture will engulf one voiding them of family life. All these cons surface as such minuscule factors before a simple fact - happier life. I have known few people here who feel that they don't have enough opportunities just because of their race, they have no where to go because this is where they belong. I still ask myself and still search for an answer for "What I am doing here when I have a Land of my own".

My Wait : A Short story

2007-09-05T16:30:00.000-05:00

It was around 6.30am , sun was half risen from his abode. People were already on the roads trying to make their commute to work.On the other side of the city Gautami had hit the snooze button thrice already. It was usual thing for her to set her alarm 30 minutes earlier than her actual wake up time.

Around 7 am, Gautami was staring into the boredom of the day, same old desk, same old boss, usual lunch break and usual way back home. Life was catching up with a stereotypical lifestyle: sedentary and void of any excitement.

Today she had a special sparkle in her eye, it was not a usual day for her; she had been waiting for this day for the past few weeks. She will meet Shekar today.

It was unusually pleasant in Florida, having lived here for over 10 years she was used to the piercing heat and the humid air, it was very pleasant cold breeze that was blowing towards her. It was as jubilant and vibrant as her thoughts that morning. She jogged towards her car and let the fresh air brush against her cheeks, she was bouncing like a bird. Her parents had bought her that car when she had decided to move out after she graduated , I will always keep this car , no matter what she always said to herself.

Time was around 8.45am , she was late to work. People at her work usually came in around 8 am everyday and everyday who comes after that is looked at like a Pariah, she hated to be late but today was not like every other day. She was smiling at life. She has been waiting to get out of this work place, she was waiting for Shekar to commit on a date for the wedding. She would always tell herself just few more months.

Usual day at work people are busy scuffling through the papers, it was the month end and a usual busy day for accounting. As she sat at her desk , she had around 5 voice messages waiting for her. Day was unusually slow and she had work on few more balance sheets. Around 1pm Gautami was biting into her panini sandwich which she hoped to rejuvenate her appetite. Four more hours she said to herself.

To be continued....

Labor day, insect bites and a short story

2007-09-04T11:19:00.000-05:00

We came back from our camping trip to the Fort Myers area, probably for the last time this year.

Camping in Florida this time of the was really a bad experience, but for my friends and hubby. I still have my Las Vegas blog pending but will go ahead and start this one, as I am still all sore from the insect bites in the camp ground.. eeew it itches and all red boo hoo.Anyway , while stacking our car with all the camping supplies I got a call from Hari asking me to wait in the store until he gets there, I ofcourse said yes and while hanging up I said to myself, I can wait all my life just for you to come. There it occured to me let me start a short story around the same angle. This is sure an old concept with many movies like 'Kuda Gawah" , "English Patient" etc.

While on the trip we decided the names of my characters, I am quite excited as this will boost my ego of having good command over the language and put my free time to some good use.

Leaves me to ponder...

2007-08-02T16:09:00.000-05:00

I have been pointed to really unique website by one of my friends; ted.com. The content of this site so intriguing that I spend at least one hour a day listen to the ideas and research of other people. People come here to share their knowledge and research and show everyone how it can be used for the betterment of human world. Technology should be used in a way that helps lead a better life and the form this technology should come to ordinary people should be as simple as it can be.There was scientist from MIT whose talk influenced me the most. According to her research millions of children and women die everyday because of the smoke from cooking fires. So, they are out on a mission to help people use use charcoal instead of the traditional cooking fuel used like cow dung in India.They created innovate ways to create Charcoal from sugarcane, corn etc. While I watched her speak I was wondering how wonderful an idea was that use your knowledge to help others.During her speech she pointed that to help a Farmer is not to stop him from farming but help him do better in his profession.

In everyday life we work towards our personal goals , show our knowledge to work towards promotions , increase of billing rate. How often do we think of helping someone, share knowledge, create tools that help in the betterment of our society.

Birthday Baby!!!

2007-06-11T07:26:00.000-05:00

June 11th... "Happy Birthday Dear"... just received an ecard from my mother and few other friends wishing me on my err.. Birthday. As I kid I eagerly looked forward for my birthday and ever felt the sense of excitement revolving around my birthday. Today I feel a certain void may be because I am pushing towards thirty or may be I haven't reached my career goals or may I am just being my usual moody self. My husband tried hard to convince me that I am better off than most people on professional and personal stands but there is something that is resonating in my mind. Cake cutting and celebration seem kinda absurd now. I feel a birthday should gauge how close a person has got to his goals. I know I am too young for this talk but as always I like to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Back from Boston

2007-05-30T15:09:00.000-05:00

Just got back yesterday from our trip to the Boston area. It was a much awaited trip for my husband as he was catching up with his dear friends from his Masters days in Kansas. This was my third meeting with most of them which I must say was eventful err quite eventful.

Being the descriptive myself..the trip started off with us landing at JFK , NY. After waiting patiently for our bags to arrive I could see amusing people in different attires and funky hairdos walking past by and who will easily come under my mothers so called "mutant" category. I said to myself "Welcome to New York". After getting our bags out we started our road trip towards Boston. My husbands friends were kind enough to let us ride down to Boston area along with them. This is my second time in New York city which looked even more fabulous now , there is so much energy and vibrancy about this city that always love to come back here. After we crossed New York the roads got deserted and everything around us started to look a bit queer. Night drives are not new to us there were times back in good old Tallahassee when used to drive around 3am in the morning. After a driving for about 4 hours we finally arrived in the Boston or more rightly to Waltham a suburb near Boston.

As soon as we got down the car , few of my husbands friends were waiting for us downstairs , I could see his eyes light up, unmindful of my presence he headed upstairs to meet and greet his friends. Feeling of being left out was suffusing me, which stayed with me through out the trip. But this was his trip and I wanted him to have that opportunity. After the initial greet and meet me and two other girls were packed off to a near by hotel while we left the guys do their thing. I was catching up with one of the girls who is now married to my husbands friend. I have known her from my husbands student days back in Kansas. The other girl was married to another friend of my husbands so it was kinda getting back to Masters days spending time with girls of my age.

After a wake up call we got dressed and were received by our respective husbands outside and we headed out to some site seeing in the Waltham area. Everything looked so green unlike the scenery we find here in Florida though still I love Florida. Waltham is a small town with typical story book kind of homes. The unwinding streets, houses snuggled so close to each other looked as if they were trying fight cold, the beautiful lakes and the swarming people of Waltham fascinated me. We headed out to the sculpture park it was park with some carved stones and a museum. It was getting hot and as usual I was trying to wrap myself with some papers or mags I could find. Being lighter in complexion is a big thing for girls in India and I don't think I can ever get out of that.

We got back in the evening go to get dressed for Jillian's, this was the first time I had heard that name. It was kind of a sports bar in Boston downtown. Jillian's looked like a run down downtown pub. The security guards outside looked like kids but made one of our friends go back as she didn't have her Id on her. My initial impression of this place from outside seemed completely false as soon I stepped into the place. It was a four storied building each floor dedicated to a different activity. We reached the fourth floor as they had the bowling alley in that floor. There is something technically wrong with the way I bowl. For some unknown reason the ball starts spinning the moment I let it go not sure if its a bane or a boon mostly depends on how the ball behaves.

One of my undergraduate friend lives in Boston so it was really nice to see her unmindful of the fact that I had met her few months back. But my husband and she were catching up after 5 years. Seems so strange how time runs, there are few friends and I can date their friendship to like 20 odd years. Its seems so strange, life is so amazing in its own beautiful way. We spent the rest of the evening in a desi dance club, it was the first time that I been to a "desi" club, it was real fun.

Next day morning we started towards Acadia national park in Maine. One more state I visit I said to myself. It was a long drive about six hours, I let my husband ride in a different car like I said this was his trip, meanwhile we had some jolly time in the other car, there were puzzles personal experience and being my goofy self I started to bug one of the guys to tell me how his life partner would be. It was good ride about 6 hours later we reached Acadia. After our late lunch or early supper we got to the national park. We headed towards the Cadillac mountains my initial impression was awe for these great mountains they looked so amazing. I left behind the whole group and headed towards the summit it was about 2 mins of hike. i went towards the edge of one rock ,made sure that I was not too close. I sat there for few minutes, everything looked so minuscule in front of this gigantic piece of earth. It was an experience that would remember for a very long time. As I was lost and spell bound with the beautiful site before my eyes, one of our friends asked me to shout out my husbands name, as soon I do that I could hear my husband calling my name. It was the most amazing thing ever. He was all furious as we had left the crowd behind and they were hiking on some trail. We followed them and then gathered at some mountain to watch the sunset, it was a beautiful site.

It was tradition for my husband and his friends to go over what they achieved and
what their future plans for that year will be. I felt that idea to be quite neat. So they lite up a bonfire and everyone started to talk about themselves. I felt it kind off bonded them together and truly so. Next day we went to Bar Harbor and took a ferry that went around the mountains. Almost each Mountain was owned by someone rich and famous and the tour guide was telling us stories about that. It was real real cold and I headed downstairs into the heated cabin. I have a condition,where I start developing rashes on my body when exposed to cold weather, well I have known to deal with that. It was good ride , the guide told us that the water temperature never goes over 55F, how weird coming from Florida that was the most strangest thing I could hear. I got to learn a lot about lobsters and Maine is really famous for lobsters.

We drove back to Boston the same night and spent the next two days in Waltham went around the small place which they called downtown. I enjoyed my trip to Boston and most important I have seen Massachusetts and Maine.

Back to Blogging

2007-05-25T16:09:00.000-05:00

Its around 2am on Sunday morning.. I am quite done going through the webservices software factory and the patterns and practices by Microsoft. From the very first time that I started working on the software factory I never saw the need of 2000 lines of code which could be done in some 1000 lines, but the software factory definitely helps realise the concept of indirection. Talks about Smart Client Software factory and the rumor at work that no one was successful at it , makes me want to take a peek into that , may be I should. I think I should doze off before I get more crazy.

The Beautiful Bahamas

2006-12-24T22:06:00.000-05:00

At last I could make some time to blog about our recent cruise trip to the Bahamas. Though I still have a pile of procrastinated ironing staring right at me, I guess that can wait before I actually forget about the whole trip.

Our trip started off with a 2 hour drive to Port Canaveral in Orlando. As we neared the pier the distant sight of the gigantic ships had us stare at them open mouthed. We went through the whole checking process and finally embarked the huge cruise. Once inside we took a deep breath to watch the way the whole ship was lay ed out. It was a total of seven floors and we were on the fourth floor which gave us a better view. One could literally eat themselves to death on a cruise. There was food all around the clock and with gyms to burn it off Phew!!!. We spent the whole evening on the cruise deck watching the ocean, it was an experience of a lifetime. Towards the night we went to the front of the ship and to our dismay the winds were so hard that at least I could barely stand, felt like I was looking at hurricane Charlie again. We woke up the next day to watch the sunrise from our window (we later regretted for the fact that we wasted 100 for the window and didn't put that to much of a use). We now reached the Nassau in Bahamas, the color of the waters , aquamarine felt welcoming.

The whole site was so breathtaking. After deboarding the cruise we were faced with a swarm of people coming towards us and telling us how they can offer us the best tourist experience. Made us kinda nostalgic hmm... We took a water taxi to the paradise island, where they had built the Atlantis resort resembling the lost city of Atlantis.

After Long walk around the Atlantis, we spent relaxing time at the beautiful Cabbage beach ( weird name but nice place)

Our day came to an end when spent the time in the downtown Nassau and their famous straw market. The site of people selling stuff and the whole ambiance of the place resembled the "Sultan Bazaar" of my home city "Hyderabad". We were quite amused at the site.
Once of the cruise after the eventful day, we had a formal dinner night , after that we spent sometime in the casino to try our luck. But as always we realised we are unfortunately not that lucky enough. We then went to the disco and joined some fun activities on the deck.

Next day was whole day on the cruise , we felt our stay in the Bahamas was too short but we chose it. We spent the day on the cruise juut lying and watching the ocean, some mini golf etc. Fun part was in the afternoon when they had a hairy chest contest for men. It was really hilarious to watch these people do some crazy stuff , it was really funny. We cooled off the day in a jacuzzi. All to all it was quite a memorable trip and will cherish it for quite a long time. And let me not forget that I had my hair braided just to add a touch to the whole island experience...

Does my education really makes me stand out?

2006-12-13T17:05:00.000-05:00

Did it ever occur to anyone what does education give me? Knowledge?? Of course.. but the question is how far does this knowledge take you. For most of the it ends up in a comfortable job or at least a job that can help you lead a good life. All our lives we have given exams tried to excel in them and struggled hard to work towards a prosperous career. I followed the same route that the million other Indians like me have done, picked up Computer Science as a major considering the fact that it was best Engineering branch to get into. Seemed attractive and definetely lucrative. After getting the Bachelors , what was next step just like millions other I took the route of GRE and got my Masters. What was next step now just like millions other find a good company and find a developer position just like how the masses term it "IT" job.

Looking back at the decisions I took make me ponder, may be I should say the decisions we(my parents and I) took. All my parents saw was what would get me comfortable life and only tool they knew "Education". May be all I thought was this is risk free or may be this what the smarter people do. Was education my only weapon good enough to make mark for myself in this world? No, I don't think it was, I defenitely have more talents in me than pushing a concept into my brain. Alas!! never got to realise them. All my life I thought that being smarter at studies made me superior, how wrong was I. Now I know being talented and putting that talent to the right use is the smartest thing. I started this blog to with different thoughts as I write I realised new things. Probably this just another another "Road not taken".

Too lazy to blog

2006-12-12T16:27:00.000-05:00

Now that I have blog for myself...I still feel it takes so much effort to put some words together Auh! Anyway Christmas is right around the corner, such a festive atmosphere. Christmas has always signified happy times to me... coming from a missionary school it signified the end of half yearly exams and the christmas holidays. I always feel joyous during this time of year. Now that I am in the US and have an easy access to the oven.. I try my hand at baking cookies and cakes haha. I know some way of not eating healthy. Next couple of days are going to be pretty exciting, we are leaving on a cruise trip to Bahamas. Sounds exciting got to check out whats coming for me.

Weekend Escape

2006-11-19T08:27:00.000-05:00

Oh!!! Monday is right around the corner again.. Phew!!!! another long week but the thanksgiving holidays have made this week more shorter. What a relief. Saturday was indeed an escape from the hush and bush of the city life, away from the traffic, noise and people. The canoe trip was relaxing and definitely a treat to the eyes. Perfect spot for nature lovers though can't count myself one among them. Gators !!! Gators and Gators were every where, being a Nole fan one wouldn't love to be in the company of Gators but this time it was an exception. We saw Gators in sizing from 8 ft to about 2ft was an experience in itself. Different kinds of birds, turtles also river Otters. Canoes are a definite relationship testers might sound funny but they are. All to all it was quite a eventful adventure canoeing beside gators, and arguments as to who is paddling the wrong way. There were places during the canoe where all we could hear was just the water and few distant birds singing... a perfect weekend escape.

Waz up for today

2006-11-14T11:00:00.000-05:00

How can one define the zeal of people to move forward and be successful? to me its just a rat race. And of course I am a part of that rat race and will not stop until I reach the goal. How many times have we seen people trying to make others look bad just to make themselves look good? if you didn't see anything like that till now then boy! I must say you have had a really clean work environment. Time and time again I have seen people do that, partly we can't blame them as thats needed to survive in the world of fittest. Personally I don't want to loose my ethics or the way I conduct myself just to emerge out as the flawless one. Rat race!!!! Success!!!! leadership!!!! Zeal to be at the top... will make people do things which are not professional or acceptable. But you know what that's life for you or may be the "real world" for you...

Life come at you very fast

2006-11-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

I always wonder if there is any way that one can have a control over their emotions and frustrations. In todays world you see frustation every where, work, family, spouse, traffic, grocery stores list is never ending. I have tried many a way to have my emotions under my control but in vain. I see people everyday who are so calm and composed always with a smile on thier faces, they look so content and calm. Calm.. thats the thing.. being calm ... is that too much to ask for in every day life??I tried dabbling with spirituality tried if that is of any help, alas! a person like me who cannot be at one place at a time will not have any success with that. I am still on my quest to find things outside or may be within myself that will help me win over my emotions or lets just say "myself"